I Breathe No More
by C.L. Curtis
Summary: Bethany Andrews was twenty-five, and on her way to America to join her family in beginning a new life, when she became one of the victims of a horrible conspiracy. One-shot, to the song by Evanescence.


**Title:** **I Breathe No More**

**Author:** **Chrystiana Louise Curtis (Thought it was Chrystina Lynne, didn't you? You'll never know which one's the real name, will you?)**

**Genre:**** Angst, hopefully.**

**Summary: ****Bethany Andrews was twenty-five, and on her way to America to join her family in beginning a new life, when she became one of the victims of a horrible conspiracy. Since that night, she has been trapped, alone, and above all else—unable to rest in peace. **

**Author's Note:****I based this on the RPG I'm a part of on Ghost Ship Online, after getting a little too attatched to my character. It's set the day that Epps frees the souls of the spirits trapped on the Antonia Graza, and put to the Evanescence Song 'Breathe No More'. **

**It's got some gore...you've been warned. David and Missy are characters in the RPG; their character, background, and dialogue belong to their writers, not me. David's lines and actions are taken almost directly from the RPG posts.**

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Ghost Ship; it belongs to the WB and whoever else that might own it that isn't me. I don't own Missy and David—they belong to their extremely talented writers. I do, however, own Bethany. And, being that I love her so much, will raise Hell if someone steals her from me. You've been warned. Oh yeah, I also don't own the song. It belongs to Evanescence, who are wonderful, by the way.**

****

Even though it had been over forty years since fate claimed her life aboard the Antonia Graza, the pain of the memory was still as fresh in Bethany Andrew's mind as if it were happening over again before her very eyes. She had been twenty-five years old, headed to America to meet her brother and his new family--including her newborn first nephew.  
  
The night of May 21, 1962 had changed everything.  
  
It began peacefully enough; she enjoyed a game of cards, though she lost miserably, and conversed briefly with a Mr. Jack Ferriman. She had been anxious to meet him since his dramatic arrival on the oceanliner-- all of the Graza's passengers were. Who was this stranger; the sole survivor on the sunken Lorelei?  
  
After bidding him good night, she made the acquaintance of a handsome Irishman named David O'Shea. Her immediate impression of him was to confirm that the things she had heard of him, primarily from her friend Missy Taylor, were true. He was indeed charming and charismatic; the kind of person that she could speak to for hours without growing bored.  
  
However, unlike the other women, she did not fall hopelessly in love with him upon first introductions. Though she put on a mask of false confidence when amoung her fellow members of the high society, in reality she feared close relationships more than almost anything else. When confronted on the fact that the was neither married to nor romantically involved with the man of her dreams, she simply laughed and replied that she was enjoying her independence. Bethany was from a wealthy family; an heiress, in fact. Her happiness didn't rely on finding a husband.  
  
That's what everybody thought, at least. In time she even believed it herself; that the ice around her heart would protect her from the potential pain she might face. Bearing witness to the broken relationship Missy shared with her 'soulmate' only did to reaffirm this notion.

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long  
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side  
All the little pieces falling  
Shatter  
Shards of me too sharp back together  
Too small to matter  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces_  
****

It was a drunken and desperate Missy that ended her conversation with Mr. O'Shae.  
  
"Begging your pardon," she had said coolly, as she made her way to her friend. The result of her attempted consolation was not what she had hoped for. In her state, Missy had taken her wedding band from her finger, thrown it angrily across the table, and stormed off. Bethany had scooped up the valuable item, and made her way after her. Following in the direction in which she saw her head off, she ended up at the dance floor that had been set up on the top deck only moments later. A horrifying sight met her eyes, and she was frozen at the spot. People were dead--cut into pieces. A little red-haired girl stood in the middle of the destruction, David kneeled in front of her, hand outstretched, his suit covered in others' blood.

She couldn't comprehend exactly what it was that she was seeing, nor could she distinguish one incomplete thought from the next. She shakily took a step backward, as she tried to will her body to move, run, do _something_. Her hand went automatically to her mouth as she fought a wave of nausea, and blinked back tears of shock.

_And I bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe  
No more_  


"David!" she heard her own voice call out to him, much to her surprise.  
  
He turned to her, and his expression turned to one of relief--presumably at seeing another alive human being.  
  
"Bethany!" he shouted back to her. "Stay there!"  
  
His hand was still outstretched toward the little girl, who seemed to come to her senses, turning on heel and running.  
  
_Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well  
And yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child  
Oh why?_

What happened next was all a blur. David was running toward her, grabbing her hand, and pulling her after him.  
  
"We have to find a place to hide..."  
  
He pulled her into the poolhall, where several other passengers had saught refuge, slamming the door shut behind them.  
  
"Safety in numbers."  
  
Bethany had backed against a wall, hand still clutching David's.  
  
"I don't want to die," she whimpered.  
  
"Everyone dies," had been his response. "I just can't die here. Unrepenting theives go to Hell. I've theived all my life, and if we die here, I'll go to Hell. SO, we're not going to die."

He looked at her then. "Just hold on."  
  
She had looked at him with new eyes then. He was a person, one that made mistakes, but wasn't too blinded by them not to recognize it. He had confided in her something that she was certain few people, if any, knew. And at that moment it occured to her that maybe this would be the man she would come to love.  
  
She nodded, then opened her mouth to tell him that she disagreed with him. He may have been a theif, but he was also a good man. Good men go to heaven.  
  
However, before she had the chance, the sound of a commotion outside of the door reached her ears; that of several indistict voices, some shouting, and heavy footsteps. She closed her eyes, tightening her grip on David, and praying that they would keep moving. However, fate was not on their side.  
  
_Lie to me  
Convince me that I've been sick forever  
And all of this will make sense  
When I get better_  


The door swung open, banging against the inside wall with a sickening thud. Her heart sinking in her chest, Bethany involuntarily took a step backward as she watched a crowd of people pour into the poolhall.  
  
There were crewmen, herding more passengers into the room. For a fleeting instant, she was filled with a sense of false hope that perhaps they were going to help them--tell them that the life boats were ready. Something. Then, she saw the guns.  
  
In a moment, the weapons were blazing.  
  
_Will I know the difference  
Between myself and my reflection  
I just can't help but to wonder  
Which of us do you love?_

"David!" Bethany shrieked, when she felt him release her hand and then watched in a slow motion as he fell to the ground next to her. She dropped to her knees, and for a moment the ongoing chaos in the room seemed miles away. There was nothing she could do but watch helplessly as his blood spread, soaking through his shirt and jacket, and as he drew his last breath.  
  
She stared in horror as the realization of both what had just happened and what would soon come to pass settled in. She let out a sob, and her own voice echoed in her mind as someone grabbed her from behind, pulling her away from his body.  
  
She struggled against them with all of her strength at first, and the aggravated crewman shoved her roughly into a line of people standing at the side of the pool. She stumbled, though she remained standing, as she watched the man raise the gun. At that moment she accepted her fate, and stood still, eyes closed.  
  
The shots rang out loudly all around her, though in her reality far off in the distance. She felt the shot she took to her chest; felt her body hit the cool water that filled the pool. Then, it was all over.  
  
_So I bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe  
No  
Bleed  
I bleed  
And I breathe  
I breathe  
I breathe  
I breathe  
No more_  
  
It had been over forty years ago. For forty years, she had existed with nothing but that memory.  
  
Tonight would change everything, thanks to one brave young woman.


End file.
